


have your cake (and eat it too)

by cjmasim



Series: need you like cake on my birthday [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Baking, Birthday Cake, Birthday Fluff, Bonafide Stallion, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 08:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmasim/pseuds/cjmasim
Summary: David's never had much experience baking cakes.–Pasta, Jake, and Charlie celebrate Charlie's birthday together, and once again, chaos ensues.





	have your cake (and eat it too)

**Author's Note:**

> What started as a "drabble" for Jake's birthday has now turned into a whole series... or should I say, a _bonafide_ series.
> 
> If you aren't familiar with the bonafide stallion copypasta, [you definitely should be](https://www.reddit.com/r/BostonBruins/comments/7b9uxv/bonafide_stallion/). 
> 
> If you or someone you know is mentioned in this fic, pls leave. This is obviously all fictional, even though there were multiple instances of me changing some details to make things fit with the Bruins' schedule.
> 
> The title comes from Valentine by 5SOS, bc I didn't have a title for this fic until posting and they released that amazing live album as I was writing, so why not? 
> 
> Also, this is a sequel. I assume anyone reading this has already read the original, but in case you haven't (and why not?), all you need to know is that Jake, Charlie, and Pasta are in love, and Charlie and Pasta tried to bake a Taylor Swift cake for Jake's 22nd birthday. Pasta forgot to let the cake cool off before frosting, so you can imagine how well that went. 
> 
> Enjoy!

David's never had much experience baking cakes. He knows how to read instructions, and his attempts at using boxed cake mix back in Sweden with Willy were always successful, even if Willy ended up doing most of the work. In Boston, though, the only time he's even tried to make a cake was for Jake's birthday, and, well, that wasn't exactly a success. 

Still, David knows what went wrong with Jake's cake. The cake itself had been fine; he'd trusted Charlie to do most of the work there, despite having no actual confidence in Charlie's baking skills, but he'd done well. The problem had been the frosting; more specifically, the problem had been David forgetting to wait before frosting the cake, though admittedly, his lack of artistic skill hadn't helped either. But he's learned from that mistake.

Now, standing in the kitchen with Jake, David knows it's time to put that knowledge to use. If David had no confidence in Charlie's baking skills, he has negative confidence in Jake's. He loves Jake, really, but the man has no idea how to cook, and if the cake weren't Jake's idea, David wouldn't even let him help with it.

"You're the one who messed up my cake last time," Jake tells him with a teasing grin. "You have no room to question my abilities."

And yeah, he has a point, but David still tries to do as much of the work as he can get away with. He mixes the ingredients and pours the batter into the pan, and really, all Jake does is hand him the ingredients. Still, it's not as if David's done all of the work here. Jake had been responsible for distracting Charlie, which was arguably the most important part of the whole endeavor. Granted, all Jake had to do was ask Gryz to keep him busy, but it's still something. 

David isn't quite sure whose idea it was, but he remembers talking to Jake one night in the hotel room while Charlie had been injured. They'd been discussing what to do for Charlie's birthday, and in looking at the schedule, they'd realized that they had a matinee game the day after his birthday. Since it's Charlie's 21st birthday, American tradition would dictate that they go out to a bar and watch as he orders his first legal alcoholic beverage, and then his next several, but they can't do that the night before a matinee game. They have most of the 21st off, however, so there's no reason they can't have a party at home right after the game against Anaheim.

When the cake comes out of the oven, David remembers not to bring out the frosting just yet - not that Jake would let him, anyway. 

"Which of us gets the honor of decorating the cake?" Jake asks after a few minutes of waiting.

David shrugs. "I don't think either of us know what we're doing."

"Why don't we see who can draw it the best, then?" Jake suggests.

"Yeah, sure," David agrees. "Not like we're doing anything else."

Jake pulls up a reference picture on his phone while David searches for some paper and pens, and the next thing he knows, they're sitting at the dining table trying to see which of them can draw a better bonafide stallion. 

"I still can't believe we're putting a fucking horse on his cake," David says, laughing in disbelief.

"Just shut up and draw, you know it's hilarious," Jake says, not looking up from his paper. 

David does as he says, but he's never been good at drawing. By the time he finishes, his horse looks more like a collection of rounded rectangles with a series of scribbles for a mane. Jake's isn't good either, but it at least resembles a horse.

"Guess that means I win, then," Jake grins.

"No, I win, since I don't have to try that," David chirps him. Really, he supposes it's for the best; if he can't even draw a horse on a piece of paper, there's no chance he could do it on a cake. 

-

Jake manages to make something that vaguely resembles a horse, but David wouldn't exactly call it a success. It's more of a brown horse-shaped blob with black dots for eyes and a hideous attempt at a mane. Jake had originally planned on putting Charlie's face over the horse's, but having realized that he wouldn't be able to do that convincingly, he decided to just put a "73" on the horse's side. It's not great, but it's better than the colorful mess his own cake had been.

"There it is," Jake announces. "The bonafide stallion." He starts eating the remaining frosting out of the tube, and David doesn't even bother to tell him he shouldn't. 

"Nice work," he says instead. "It's made with love, at least."

Before Jake can respond, the front door opens. David feels a wave of panic, and he signals to Jake to put the cake away, hurrying to the door to try to do damage control.

"Hey, you're home early," he says, trying to act normal. 

"I missed you guys," Charlie says as he shrugs his coat off. 

David silently curses Gryz. He was supposed to keep Charlie occupied until they had to leave for the game; they still have several hours to go, and how are they going to finish preparing if Charlie's home? A quick glance at his phone reveals that Gryz did indeed text them both a warning, but he and Jake had been too busy to notice. 

He's not sure how long it'll take Jake to get the cake hidden, but in the meantime, he knows he has to distract Charlie.

"How was your time with Gryz?" 

"Oh, it was fine," Charlie says. "Good to spend time with him and all, and he did say he's been lonely since Bjorkie's been down in Providence, but he's no match for me at Chel. It gets boring after the tenth straight win."

"Why don't you play me, then? I won't let you win," David says, grinning.

Charlie shakes his head. "I don't know, I kind of just wanted to cuddle with you guys, maybe do some more before our pregame nap. Where's Jake, anyway?"

"Right here!" Jake yells, coming from the kitchen with three Gatorades in his hands. He passes them to Charlie and David, keeping one for himself, and goes to sit on the couch. "I heard you wanted to cuddle?"

"Dude, yes," Charlie says, going over to sit pressed against his side. David follows, sitting next to Charlie and resting his head on his shoulder. 

They still need to get Charlie back out of the apartment, but for now, David enjoys a rare quiet moment with his boyfriends. Of course, they don't stay quiet for long.

-

Shortly after they finish, David sends Gryz a text. _I was mad at you for letting Charlie come home but we got some great fun out of it_

Gryz replies quickly with a few disturbed emojis, and David opens it without replying. He still needs to get Charlie out of the apartment as soon as possible so they can finish preparing.

_You busy?_ He texts Ryan, and almost immediately, a reply comes through. 

_Nope_.

_Gryz failed, we need someone to distract Charlie and have a pregame nap with him, can you do that?_

_I need to pick out a suit for an event with my gf so yeah sure!_

-

Charlie agrees to go out with Ryan without any convincing, and as soon as he's gone, David breathes a sigh of relief. They have about two hours before they need to leave, and they really need to scramble if they want to have everything ready on time. 

Jake volunteers to prepare the drinks, and David's been treated to his jello shots before, so he's perfectly happy to let him handle those. That leaves him with the decorations. David rushes to the bedroom to retrieve the box that's been shoved under the bed; thankfully, despite it being a very large box, Charlie hasn't noticed it. He grabs some scissors and opens it to reveal a bundle of birthday-themed streamers sitting on top of a pile of horse masks. 

The masks had been David's idea, presented to Jake after too many hours spent looking at memes. Jake, being the way that he is, had jumped on the idea immediately, not even hesitating to order thirty of them to make sure there are enough for everyone at the party. Now that he's had some time to really consider the idea, David imagines that he would probably freak out if he walked into his apartment to find thirty or so people wearing horse masks yelling at him, but Charlie's tough; he'll take it well. At least, he certainly hopes so. 

David gets to work attempting to hang up the streamers, and it's not as if it's really difficult, but it still takes him a while. Several times, he puts one up only to have to readjust it several times to get it to be at least somewhat straight.

"Neither of us are capable of hanging it straight," Jake says when David complains about his predicament. "Too bad Ryan's busy."

David rolls his eyes, having heard that joke far too many times. "If you're not going to help, make more jello shots. That way no one will notice they aren't straight."

-

They make it to the game on time, but barely. Charlie's already there with Ryan, and thankfully, he doesn't ask why they're late. 

After the game, Ryan distracts Charlie, as was originally planned, while everyone else heads to their apartment to prepare. David and Jake get there first, David having rushed through his postgame shower and interview while Jake, of course, didn't have to do any of that. Jake rushes to get the jello shots out of the refrigerator while David gets the horse masks out of the bedroom, and almost immediately, the doorbell rings, signaling that the first guests have arrived. 

"The place looks great," Bergy says, cordial as always. 

"Did you hire someone?" Marchy chirps. "No, you couldn't have; that streamer isn't even close to being level."

Gryz arrives soon afterward, offering a sincere apology for failing to keep Charlie away, but Jake assures him that Ryan's got it covered. The rest of their teammates begin to file in, Sean and Danton being the last to arrive, both suspiciously red in the face. David really wants to ask what they've been up to, but Charlie's scheduled to arrive any moment now, and he finds himself glued to his phone waiting for a text from Ryan.

"You know he's always late, right?" Tuukka asks. 

"Of course I know," David says. "But Ryan's not."

Sure enough, ten minutes before the scheduled arrival time, Ryan texts to let him know that they should be arriving in about ten minutes. David grabs Jake, and the two of them begin handing out the horse masks.

"You can't be serious," Noel says as David hands him a horse mask. "This is absurd."

"Just put it on," David tells him. He doesn't have time to explain; admittedly, he probably should've been doing that earlier.

Marchy just about dies laughing when David hands him the mask, but he puts it on with no lack of enthusiasm. Surprisingly, Zee thinks it's a great gesture, and David has to admit that his captain's approval makes him a lot more confident in the idea than he'd been earlier. It's still ridiculous, but so are they. 

Ryan texts a warning that they've parked the car, and Jake yells for everyone to get in their hiding spot. He and David are closest to the door, ready to be the first to pull off their masks so Charlie can see their faces. The room goes silent, and with the lights off, David can't see the dozens of horse masks over grown men crouched low to the ground, though the thought alone makes it really hard not to laugh. He has to will himself to think about the series against Tampa, even though he'd rather think about just about anything else.

Thankfully, he's spared from that train of thought by the sound of the door opening, and in walks Charlie, followed by Ryan, who's barely suppressing his grin already.

"Uh, hello?" Charlie calls out. 

David and Jake jump out in sync, planting themselves right in front of Charlie with just enough room in between to see the rest of the crowd. Ryan hits the light switch.

Charlie's jaw drops at the sight of all the horse masks, and David's chest is already shaking with laughter. He looks at Jake, who nods, and they each remove their horse masks. Charlie looks at them, then back to the banner that reads "Happy Birthday to Our Bonafide Stallion", and bursts into laughter. 

David looks back at the sea of horse masks, and starts laughing even harder. He looks at Jake, then at Charlie, both of whom are also laughing hysterically, and it's all he can do to collapse into Charlie's arms so he doesn't actually fall over. 

"I can't believe you guys," Charlie says eventually, once they've all calmed down a little and the rest of the guys have removed their horse masks. David's basically glued to his side already, and Charlie tugs Jake closer to him so that they're in a tight group hug. "I don’t even - this is ridiculous and it's perfect. I fucking love you guys."

"Would you really expect us to do anything normal?" Jake asks, and Charlie laughs again. 

"Happy birthday, Charlie," David says, and Jake echoes him. 

"Thank you both, really. This means a lot," Charlie says, smiling warmly, and David's heart flutters like they haven't been dating most of the year. "Why don't we join the party now?"

-

The party is a success, in the sense that Charlie gets very drunk off jello shots - they all do, if David's being honest - and by the end of the night, they have video of him yelling the entire bonafide stallion copypasta. He loves the cake, too, though by the time they get to it, he's already tipsy enough that David's not convinced he really saw it. Luckily, he has a picture.

The next night - Charlie's actual birthday - finds them in a bar just a few blocks from their apartment. They have a matinee game and a flight to Raleigh the next day, so they can't have more than one drink each, but it's Charlie's 21st birthday. Even if he is the only American in this relationship, David and Jake aren't going to let him pass on one of America's most sacred traditions. 

"Beer is overrated," Charlie complains, but David waves him off. 

"Don't care," he says. "You and I are getting one; it's less than a mixed drink." Jake, unfortunately, can't drink alcohol while recovering from a concussion, but he's happy just to watch Charlie purchase his own for the first time. 

"After all the drinks I've illegally bought you, you owe me at least a hundred," Jake teases, though David knows he'll never actually make Charlie buy him any. 

The bartender returns with their drinks, and David calls for a toast. Charlie knocks his beer against David's, and Jake does the same with his water.

"To Charlie," Jake says, and David does the same. 

They each take a drink, and Charlie winces. 

"Taste any better now that it's legal?" David asks, even as he knows the answer.

"Still tastes like shit," Charlie confirms. "Jake's jello shots are so much better."

"Aw, I'm honored," Jake says, pressing a hand to his heart. 

"I really mean it, though," Charlie says. "That party was awesome, even if the horse masks were a little scary. You guys are honestly the best I could ever ask for."

"Did you get drunk off of one sip?" David chirps, and Charlie grins, telling him to shut up. 

"Hey boys," Jake says in a ridiculously low voice, batting his eyelashes, and David is already starting to laugh. "What do you say we go back to my place?"

"I would love that," Charlie says as David laughs even harder. 

They do just that, and at the end of the night, David doesn't miss it when Charlie mumbles something about the "best birthday ever" before falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on [tumblr](http://www.cjmasim.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
